Santa Ana winds have blown into town.
Ridiculously beautiful weather outside.
I get sent home from work.

Go figure, I'm sick.
Wasn't as bad last week when I was dealin' with a fever.
Just dealin' with throat boogers an' a semi-nagging cough.

Reason why I got sent home.
Even though my voice is a bit sexier, it's not ideal to sell when you might end up coughing on potential clients.

I figure I'll probably be posting up a few of my writings over the next couple of weeks.
Can't think of any other stories in my life that qualify as entertainment for the masses.

Oh! For those that missed it.
My cellphone's down at least 'til I get my next paycheck.
Issues with my service provider.
Hopefully logic'll prevail an' we won't have to wait that long.
For now, I'm gettin' a cheap payphone to conduct business with.

A semi-return to normalcy.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 27
The Random Quote:
"That's what she said." - Anonymous

So I neglected to post something for the month of March.
My bad.

Just found myself suffering from writer's block an' running into distractions.
Hurrah for side-projects!

Plan was to introduce you to my new pad via picture blogging.
I'm puttin' that on hold because I feel that there is something that holds more precedence.

Human Tetris.

As seen in this clip:
http://www. youtube. com/v/84_QL1kEmH4

It's bein' brought stateside:
http://sandiego. craigslist. org/csd/tfr/635076980. html

You know you want to.

'Cuz I'm looking to put together a 3 man team.

Expect a return to somewhat normalcy by next week.
Egads!
Maybe an original piece or two.

Oooh!
Suspense!

Standard repost for the non-myspace crowds.

And then there’s me.

At the beginning of the month I noticed that I was getting alot of traffic on myspace.
Profile views we're averaging 30 a day.
Blog reads were getting ridiculous.
Alot of random messages from ladies I've never met before.
During one of the interactions I came across the reason why.

Apparently I had myself a craigslist posting.
Men seeking Women.
Had a more recent pic of me taken durin' a bar-hopping night.
Direct link to my myspace profile.
I'm guessin' it was well-written because most of the ladies I met weren't crazies.
It got taken down before I got to see it.

Basically, one of my friends posted a want ad for me without my knowledge.
And because I feel like my stories can give people that haven't met me yet the wrong impression...
Manwhore, manslut, and/or playa playa.
I'm just gonna introduce myself usin' one of those random surveys that float around the bulletins.
Creative.
I can be.

The History of Reggie
1. Raised in: San Diego county
2. Planned baby: ideally it is
3. Birth date: June 5, 1982
4. Any siblings: Two brothers, all 5 yrs. apart
5. Younger or older: One older, one younger
6. Hair color: black with an occasional sexy sprinklin' of white
7. Hair length: shaved, got tired of maintenence again
8. First school: that I remember.... Pomerado Elementary
9. Eye color: Brown
10. Shoe size: 11, bigger than the average asian
11. Mood: penguin
12. Smell: like a minty fresh breath of heaven
13. Height: 6'2 an' breakin' down stereotypes
14. Lefty/righty: gemini, ambidextrous

LOVE LIFE:
1. Do you remember your first real relationship? yes, she won't let me forget
2. Do you believe in love? yuppers
3. Shortest relationship? both serious relationships were 3 1/2 years
4. Have you ever been heartbroken? and that's why I practice with puzzles
5. Are you liking someone now? define "liking"
6. Have you ever fallen for a friend? tried that once an' it ended horribly
7. Are you afraid of commitment? only if they demand it after 2 weeks of dating
8. Do you believe in love at first sight? when they inspire more than just a hard-on right?

THIS OR THAT:
1. Love or money? "The best things in life are free..."
2. Coffee or alcohol? they work hand in hand
3. One night stands or relationships? relationships
4. Television or internet? internet
5. Pepsi or coke? coke, mixes better
6. Fun night out or romantic night in? depends on the significant other, I'm customizeable
7. Phone or in Person? was that a sex question?

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? never had the opportunity

2. Have you ever skinny dipped? yes

3. Have you ever done something you regret? more than likely

4. Have you ever been on a house boat? yea... that's I story I don't bring up often

5. Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker? I usually end up losing them an' have to follow the ant trail the next day to find 'em

6. Have you ever colored your hair? good ol' acting gigs

7. Have you ever been streaking? it's not as fun if you're in the front

ARE YOU:
1. Are you missing someone right now? maybe subconciously
2. Are you talking to anyone right now? I like making friends
3. Are you German? nein
4. Are you Italian? nope
5. Are you French? no
6. Are you Russian? nyet
7. Are you Norwegian? nada
8. Are you Indian? naw
9. Are you Irish? no
10.Are you Finnish: try again
11.Are you Polish: no
12. Are you Swedish: meatballs

Filipino with a bit of Spanish, Chinese, and Other

DO YOU:
1. Do you get depressed about things easily? depends on how much newcastle was in the glass before it got spilled over
2. Do you live life to the fullest? I try not to waste a day
3. Are you comfortable with the way you look? yes
4. How do you dress? yes
5. Are you scared of growing old alone? nope
6. What do you want to be when you grow up? content
8. Are you a vegetarian? no
9. Current song your listening to? J-Live - Timeless

And that's me in a general nutshell.
As far as what I'm looking for, a pulse would be ideal.
In my adventures in dating, I've learned not to date out of boredom an' that I should be more selective.
4 crazies in a row an' a changed number kinda do that to a person.

I am bein' more picky but if you can cover these 4 main points, feel free to contact me.
- great smile
- sense of humor
- of legal age in the state of California
- genetically born a woman

I still believe that the dating process should be used to filter out any red-flags.
So far my red-flags are common sense things.
I'd list them, but this one's gettin' kinda lengthy an' I've noticed diminished attention spans in the general populace.

And in case you missed it, I am capable of dating multiple ladies at the same time.
I'm very upfront about it.
If you're comfortable with that fact, let's talk.
If not, just send me an add friend request on myspace.
-------------------------------------------

Peer pressure can be a bitch at times.
I noticed everyone else was trying out that wacky flu virus that was hitting all the states.
Mid-February I decided to try it out.

I should've went with competitive ferret herding.

Flu.
Career move.
New cellphone number.
Change in dating procedure(s).
Change in address at the end of the week.

Those are my excuse for laggin' on my postings.
Fear not masses!
I've posted another one.
Although it's not geared towards people I already know.

Should be back to standards next week.

Shout House.
Downtown SD.
March 15th.
Think about it.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 27
The Random Quote:
"I'm just looking for someone to inspire more than a hard-on for me." - Anonymous

This should be the makings of a brand new original post.
But the cold I was dealin' with over the weekend turned out to be the flu.
Just in time for my first day of work at my brand new job tomorrow.

Good times.
So yea, this is just a filler.
At least until I get healthier.
Feel free to enjoy this clip of musical goodness.
I just haven't been able to get enough of it recently.

And then there’s a mini-date story.

Before I start, I just wanted to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Years/Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness Day/Happy Birthday!
'Cuz I'm not sure if I'm goin' to be gettin' around to an individual post centered specifically on any of those subjects.

Mini-date.
I define it as a quick gathering between two potential dating prospects that lasts for no more than an hour.
Nothing significant, it's more of an interview an' decidin' on wether or not there's any physical attraction.
Point is, I had one today.
Er, yesterday.
Late Saturday afternoon 'fore a karaoke run.

This is the second dating prospect sent my way via one of my Starbucks friends.
Real talk, a Starbucks friend I wouldn't mind gettin' to know on a more regular basis.
That's right, I said it.
And now I've typed it.
I know you enjoy reading these.
Her friends're as fun as she is personality-wise so I guess that counts for some consolation.
Like her first friend, she arranges a meeting between us at her workplace.
In case you haven't guessed yet, it's a Starbucks.

I love the way they prepare my hot chocolate for me.
Which is what I ordered.
Turns out I arrived a lil' early an' her friend was runnin' late.

For now I'm gonna let you have a lil' fun an' try to guess her friend's name.
Since I tend to leave 'em anonymous out of respect for their privacy.
Starts with a "P"
Ends with "atricia"

Why did I just bother to do that?
'Cuz I like that joke an' she doesn't mind this bein' somewhat public knowledge.
Apparently she enjoys my stories also.
Which I steadily keep digressing from.

With wonderful Starbucks hot chocolate in hand, I take a seat outside.
Put on my bluetooth stereo headset an' jam to music contained on my Helio Ocean.
Situated nicely, I take out a pack of Benson & Hedges menthols an' light one with my mini-navy blue BIC lighter.
(Heavy product placement because I'm all hyped up about Superbowl commercials)

Sometime later on, a lady walks into my line of vision.
If I read her lips correctly, she just told me: "I'd like to give you a blowjob."
Bein' the smooth guy that I am, I find myself in mid-sip coughing and spilling hot chocolate onto my shirt.
It probably burned me a little at the time, but I didn't notice because I was still tryin' to process what just happened.

I take my headphones off.
I raise an eyebrow.
My left one because it's scarred an' sexy.
She makes the motion of a blowjob.
"Yea... I heard that right."

One helluva way to introduce yourself.
At this juncture of the story, I do need to point out that I didn't take her up on her offer.
Because EVERY person I've told this story to so far asked me that when I got to this point of the story.
Veeeerrrrrrrry tempting though.
If only I had a different moral set...

So yea, she said it with a smile.
Granted, it was a very seductive an' devious smile.
A really great smile.
She also laughed at my response.
So I'm under the assumption that she was joking.
'Cuz I don't think I'll ever be used to women THAT forward with me.

After that fun lil' introduction we got to know each other a lil' better.
Mostly through dating stories.
Which is kinda like how my first job interview went last week.
Dating stories.
After hearing hers, she seems like a very fun woman.
At the very least, the makings of a great friend.
Maybe my volunteer for speed dating.
Or a friend with benefits.
'Cuz if memory serves me correctly, that's what she was hinting at for 40 some-odd minutes.

Damn my morals.
I think at this rate I'm gonna eventually get to the point where I say "Fuck it!" and well... fuck "it."
At least that way some of you can live more vicariously through my exploits.

Who knows?
Such a fun question.

*sigh*
So many fun stories compiled over the last few days.
I'm savin' the next rd. until next week.
You just got two in one sitting.
Stop bein' greedy.

Application Form to Date My Daughter

That of course assumes I have a daughter and/or get married an' pro-create.
I don't have offspring, yet I already feel bad for them.
'Specially when they get to their teens.
The following is a rough cut of an application form I intend to have potential boyfriends fill out while they're waiting for my daughter to get ready.
If I can't get a son named Guy, I figure this'll make for a nice compromise.

------------------------------------------------
Name:
Birthdate:
Occupation:
Shoe Size:
Contact Information:

Please note that any information given will be remembered by both parents at every meeting hereafter.
Your answers reflect the quality of your character and also heavily influences your chances of dating our daughter.
No pressure.
We just want HONEST answers.

1. Do You know the answer to this question?

2. How did you meet our daughter?

3. What color was her underwear that day?

4. Honest opinion, what do you think of her?

5. Have any sexual scenarios played out in your mind involving her yet?
5a. If so, how many and please describe one in great detail.

6. How many wet dreams have involved her so far?

7. Did you know her father killed a man once? On purpose.

8. You do realize there's enough room in the backyard to bury one more body right?

9. What were you doing a year ago from today?

10. Do you know the muffin man?

11. If you had 5 words to describe yourself, use two of them now.

12. What do you plan to do with your life?

13. Do you like my throwing knife collection? I keep them sharpened daily.

14. My wife has a great rack doesn't she?

15. Do you think that's why my daughter enjoys wearing low-cut tops?

16. If I tell you I want my daughter home by 11pm you have her home by...?

17. Do you believe in Scientology?
If yes, please consider application void and vacate premises immediately.

18. What is your general plan for the first date?

19. Are you expecting physical intimacy?
19b. If so, what kind and for how long?

20. What's the number for 911?

21. Do you have insurance?

*Please note, for the next series of questions, you might want to think VERY carefully before you answer.

22. Lakers fan?

23. Chargers fan?

24. Fan of Bill Walton?

25. Do you like penguins?

Thank you for your time.
Please drop off your application along with your blood, urine, and semen sample at [home address] during the hours of 3pm-6pm.
After analysis and a tribal council, we will get back to you within the next couple days and let you know.
Good luck.
------------------------------------------------

Again, rough cut.
Best I could come up with after 10mins. of brainstorming.
Ideally the final draft will have 50 questions.
Possibly 50 pages.
We'll see.
Any ideas, suggestions, criticisms are greatly appreciated.

And now to address a few questions the first proofreaders had.
- I like random.
- Been a Lakers an' Chargers Fan since birth.
- Bill Walton's an inside joke between myself an' my best friend. Personally, I'm not a fan of his.
- I figure if the kids willing to fill this form out, he's two steps closer to bein' a son-in-law. Ideally my daughter would have a better sense of who the crazies are then her father did.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 26
The Random Quote:
"Excuse me miss. Have I turned you down before?" - Anonymous

And a repost for the non-myspace crowds.

And then there’s a dating story

So this isn't a current dating story.
It's actually a flashback to early '07 during my 2nd group dating excursion.

I'm not sure of the exact reasons why, but I'm a fan of the ladies that're shorter than me.
Like 5'- 5'5" range.
They also tend to have a lil' firey streak 'bout them.
Kinda like chihuahas.
Except the ladies're loveable, huggable, kissable, an' more than likely not able to fit inside a purse to be carried around in public.
Point of that lil' statement, she was a short, brunette lady.

Very fun.
Very outgoing.
Met her bar-hopping downtown.
Normally though, she's a PB regular.

Historically, I'm not a fan of PB.
I keep seeing exes an' ladies I never called after they gave me their number.
And this one night just adds one more reason I tend to give other options priority.

So yea, PB regular.
We've been dating for a good month an' a half at this point.
This would be the 5th time we hit up PB.
Lots of drinks.
She was a fan of jagerbombs an' kamikazes.
What was fun 'bout her is that she could her liquor well.

Also had a tendency to get frisky.
Mmmhmm.

But I'm gettin' side-tracked.
We ended up drinkin' past her limit that night.
I think we were playin' a drinking game I created with her group of friends.
Take a shot everytime someone tried to join our group.
Double-shot if they made a reference to me bein' a pimp.
One guy, six ladies.
Just glad I wasn't pickin' up the entire tab that night.

Lots of alcohol intake.
Friskiness.
Whispers.
I raise an eyebrow.

I'm a gentleman.
So I'd like to accomodate her wishes.
We take care of our part of the tab, bid her friends a goodnight an' try to start rushing to her townhouse.

Right outside the bar is this guy smoking by himself.
Built like a mini-american gladiator an' had the mindset of a neanderthal.
To prove the point, he trys out a couple cat calls to the lady even though we're holding hands.
She ignores him.
That in-turn inspires him to showoff the rest of his impressive vocabulary.
Things along the lines of bitch, slut, whore, or someone that Can't Understand Normal Thinking.

One or all the phrases set her off.
She storms off to go yell at the guy.
Which makes sense cuz she's 5'1" without heels an' he's was something along the lines of 6'5".
Bein' a natural diplomat, I try to step in-between the two.
At this point, there as face-to-face as can be because of the height distance.
She might've even been jumping up at times to emphasize certain points.
I'm thinkin' it's when I offered to take him inside a buy a drink he decided to focus his anger (probably drunken) on me.

"You got beef?"
*shove*
"Huh chinaman!?"
*shove*

At this point I find myself wondering how it got to that point an' why aren't they any bouncers around.
Thought process gets interrupted when he takes a swing at me.
I duck.
Natural instincts kick in an' I land an elbow directly on his throat.
While he's holding his throat an' gasping for air, I give a couple quick kicks to both his kneecaps an' floor him.

I look at the lady I'm dating.
"Car. Run. Now."
She does.
In retrospect, this is probably one of the times where I should've thrown her over my shoulder.
But there's something fun 'bout watchin' a drunken run in heels lead the way.

Fun night.
That lil' relationship ended a few months down the line afterwards when we realized it wasn't goin' anywhere past a physical relationship.

To recap:
-Reggie likes ladies shorter than him.
-Reggie's not a fan of the PB area.
-Reggie's date got him into a lil' skirmish.
-Reggie is still dating because he refuses to let the last two girls he dated affect him in a negative way.
------------------------------------

Hope '08 is treating everyone well so far.
I've been meaning to post more.
But my lack of overall freetime an' want to post only quality stuff have kept me limited.
I'm also runnin' low on quotes.
Feel free to send ideas or other stuff my way.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness age: 25
The Random Quote:
"You're probably just better off sending a picture of your crotch with the subject line: wish you were here." - Anonymous

So apparently the mass text I sent out New Year's Day wasn't received by everyone.
My bad.

It was something along the lines of this:
[insert generic mass text wishing a bountiful new year or something with a hint of Reggie-ness thrown in for good measure here]

Quite creative.
Like Gummi Bear pie.

Mmmhmm.
I said it.

And I baked it.
It's fun to experiment with food.
Like banana an' tomato sauce.
I'm just saying.

So yea, expect a return to normalcy blog-wise whenever I get over this stupid head cold.
Have a kick ass '08 everyone!

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"FUCK YOU PHLEGM!!!" - Reg

A part of me wants to share my more recent debacle with you.
It can best be summed up with a line from Rush Hour 2.
"We could've had something... but you one craaazy ass bitch!"
It's not verbatim, but you get what I'm aiming for right?

Currently, respect for other people's privacy has me refraining from giving you the uncut version.
If you catch me in person though, I've got a heapload of text messages to show you.
It's bi-polar, in text format.
I've been tryin' to tread lightly cuz she knows where I live, a there may or may not be a chance I get shanked.
Am I joking?
I have no idea.

So yea, things to post about it in the near future:
- Dating application for daughter
- Booty Call Contract
- That one date that got me into a fight

Fun stuff to look forward to huh?
For now, filler in the form of musical goodness via youtube

...great.

Another selection from my archives of useless dialogue:

"Apparently I'm terrible in bed. But really, is two seconds enough time to come up with a solid critique?"

It's been awhile Blog.
My bad.
Am I doin' this right?

Mother's doin' great, parents went straight to the casino after she got discharged.
Scar from her C-section was causing blockage in her intestines that lead to her extreme discomfort an' loss of blood pressure.
Few days in the hospital clearing out her system made everything better.
So long story short, it was my younger brother's fault.

Hopefully everybody enjoyed their grub beyond excess an' feel guilty about it the next day.
Others would call it Thanksgiving Day.
One of my friends referred to it as "happy kill the indians and take their land day."
Point is, I hope it was a blessed an' joyous occassion for you an' your loved ones.

Makes for a fun time to reflect.
On everything you're thankful for.
On how much/little you've progressed since last year.
In my case, there was probably too much reflection.
So much that my standard deflection with humor didn't work out tonight.

Free country, running water an' electricity, healthy loved ones, no fear of death on a daily basis, third leg properly functioning, all deserving of hurrahs an' thanks.

Just find myself worn down at the moment.
Spritually, physically, emotionally, financially.
With the past few weeks, I guess it's understandable.
But I'm still at that point people find themselves every once in awhile where they feel like their in a rut.

I would assume singleness isn't helping out.
If only because it's cuddling season an' two blankets aren't cutting it for me.

That probably isn't be the main reason for me feeling bothered though.
I would say that answer could be found in the question: why do some people find it so hard to place faith or trust in me?

So yea, I want to write a song about bein' happily in a relationship.
Call it a throwback to 90's R&B.
Cuz all we've got nowadays are songs about hook-ups, one-night stands, breakups, an' home-wrecking.
Whatever happened to the happy times?

And now a random line from a writing I stopped working on:

She lost her left arm and leg in a freak orthodontic accident.
But I still found her alllllright.

Yea.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 24
The Random Quote:
"Run like the little bastard you are!" - Crayon Shin Chan

Momwatch 2007

Thanks to everyone for all the support.
It's really meaningful and appreciated.
Moreso than when I lost my virginity.

Speaking of things that lead to babies...
Mother's doin' much better than yesterday.
Gonna spend a few more days in the hospital.
When I left her earlier she was resting comfortably.
I imagine if things were worse I wouldn't be able to attempt humor.

Again, thank you.

Take care, stay out of jail, an' all that other good stuff people.

Quick update.
- Loss of clients due to wildfires equals messed up finances an' eviction scare.
- Mother took an ambulance ride to TriCity Hospital around 6pm last night, exact cause of pain she's suffering still unknown to us.
- I'm gettin' out of the apartment tonight to just de-stress from the past few interesting weeks.
- I still like penguins.
- I figure it's hard to be sexy when you're dealing with gas.

So yea, really appreciative of everyone that's shown concern.
I'll do my best to keep everyone updated.

I’d rather be golfing

A little note to the gentleman that was driving the $80,000 SUV in front of me this morning:
I saw your little license plate surround.
It said, "I'd Rather Be Golfing".

Gee, is that right?
Wouldja?
Wouldja really?

Well, that is just super.
It's really good to know that.
I found that to be an excellent use of your empty license plate space.
You are to be commended sir.

Now to me.
Do you know what I'd rather be doing?
I would rather be beating the f*** out of you for power braking to 15 mph at the first minor, insignificant, misting hint of rain on your windshield.
I would rather jerk a nine-iron out of the golf bag that is no doubt in the cargo space of that monstrosity you are driving and beat you about your head and genitals until you curl up into the fetal position and poopy into your pants.
But that won't fit on my license plate surround, now will it?

No.
No, it won't.

Here's a little tip: Get the f*** off of my freeway and go swing your Limited Edition Callaway clubs at your $100,000-a-year country club, you self-involved cock-gobbler.
I hope you have a stroke on the front nine.
I f****** hate it when someone makes me late for my Christians For A Peaceful Tomorrow rally.
-----------------------------

And that would be my favorite comedic monologue to use for auditions.
At least until I came upon a few deleted scenes from Knocked Up.

Good times.

Like how people wanted me to add to my list of lil' nifties I have on this Online Journal Thingy.
A counter to keep track of how many ladies I'm dating at the moment.

Which would be zero.
Leaving me at super single status as of Friday morning.

Makes people wonder how long that'll last though.
One of my friend's suggested 10mins.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 25
The Random Quote:
"Your face." - Anonymous

Again, if you're out of the San Diego County area an' would like to help head over to this link for direct help suggestions:

http://www.sdarc.org/site/pp.asp?c=erKQL4NQE&b=3510321

For SD residents that don't use a landline in their place like we do to cutback on bills, you can register you cellphone for Reverse 911 calls by heading over here:

http://www.sandiego.gov/ohs/reverse911/index.shtml

On a lighter note...
Firestorm 07 is the best we could come up with?
I wanted something more impressive to tell my grandchildren.
"I was there for firestorm 07"
Bah!

How about...
- Hell's breath
- Campfire of Doom
- Those wacky terrorists
- The not your average weenie roast.
- Firefighters are awesomeness defined

Well, I'm off to try to get some work done.
If anybody needs a place to stay or hangout, our apartment's still available.

The Red Cross is at max capacity for volunteers.
How beautiful is that?